You know how it is. You’re flowing along in life’s stream when suddenly there’s a fork in the river and the current forces you into a direction that’s not exactly of your choosing. It’s moving so fast that all you can do is surrender and hold on for the ride. It’s a fact that Life may, at times, push you in a direction you had not expected or decidedly did not want to go. I know it’s happened to me many times before, and it’s happening to me once again.
So, how do you navigate the surprising and sudden turns in life course?
First, stay present with what’s happening.
As hard as it may be to stay in the present moment, it is essential when life throws you those big curve balls. The worst thing you can do is deny, avoid, or try to escape from what’s happening. Stay grounded in your body and be sure to mindfully (and heartfully) tend to your basic needs. It may sound obvious, but in times of heightened stress, it can be easy to forget or neglect proper nourishment, rest, and the tools that keep us in balance such as meditation and exercise. At times of increased anxiety, overwhelm, confusion, etc. these things become more essential than ever. A good practice is to take a deep breath, bring awareness into your body and ask yourself “What do I need right now?” Then listen and lovingly respond.
Next, allow yourself to feel, express, and release your emotions (in a healthy way, of course – no yelling at the neighbors or kicking computers, please.)
It’s essential that you honor your emotional state by simply letting yourself feel how you feel, without judging, analyzing, or fixing. If you feel numb from the shock of sudden events, it can help to talk to someone you trust and feel comfortable with, or ask them for a hug if you can’t find words. Sometimes hearing ourselves say something out loud, or feeling a loving embrace, can thaw frozen emotions. You can also use writing, art, movement, and sound to help you express and release emotions you may not yet have words for. The point is, do not stuff, numb, or push away your feelings. Doing so will increase the sense of pressure and may lead to inappropriate emotional outbursts or somatic complaints such as headaches. If you need help with this, don’t hesitate to find a professional to work with.
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Grounding is essential to growth, to spiritual progress and to real-world success. It’s so important that it’s frequently an emphasis in my work with individuals and in groups. Without a solid foundation beneath us, without deep and sturdy roots, growth is simply not sustainable.